A Definitive Ranking Of The Best (And Worst) Halloween Candy Of All Time
How much do I loathe these sticky brown chunks? I would go so far as to say Tootsie Rolls are downright offensive. If you offer me this candy, I will never speak to you again. Everything about it—the shape, texture, flavor—are so repulsive. Trash.
29. A bag of pretzels
Pretzels are not candy, but everyone recalls the one house on the block that decided to promote health and not hand out candy. Maybe it was apples or a bag of pretzels, but all you walked away with a whole lot of disappointment. For the love of sugared-up kids everywhere, please don’t do this. Let the children have their day of fun.
28. Almond Joy/Mounds
I don’t know what it is about this candy and older generations, but something seems to happen around the age of 65 where you go from hating it to loving it. I do happen to be acoconut gal, which is why I’m particularly annoyed by the treatment of this flavor. Coconuts everywhere are crying.
They’re stale gummies. I said it, and I stand by it.
26. Good & Plenty
Just because these are totally old school does not mean they’ve earned their spot at modern Halloweens. Does anyone else think they taste like soap?
No flavor here, none. Just oddly chewy hard sticks. The best thing about Twizzlers is their straw capabilities, which are still mediocre at best.
24. Hot Tamales
What is the flavor beyond “spicy”? No, thank you.
I just don’t get these. Sure, they are colorful and shaped like fruit, but you can’t chew them, and sucking on them doesn’t really bring any satisfaction either. Where’s the appeal? If you locate it, give me a call.
Their tradability was amazing, sure. But when you actually eat them, Smarties are much too chalky and just make you salivate, as if you’re eating something sour without the satisfaction of eating something sour.
21. Air Heads/Laffy Taffy
You can hate me for it, but they just have too many strikes against them. They are both hard to chew and yet soft and melt-y, and contort into weird shapes while sitting in your pocket. Your dentist agrees with me here.
20. Milk Duds
Kind of just a PR nightmare, from the name to the look. The taste itself isn’t horrible, but I never, ever got excited when someone was giving these out on Halloween.
19. Junior Mints
I have never thought mint and chocolate should go together. Like, do you want me to brush my teeth, or actually enjoy the candy? Because I can’t do both.
18. Candy Corn
I’m not as mad at candy corn as other people. I like candy corn. But does it excite me? Sadly, no.
17. 3 Musketeers
Nougat exists in other candy bars in a more interesting configuration, so these are just kind of boring to me.
16. Charleston Chew
Slightly better than a 3 Musketeer, but only because it has different flavors. Pro tip though: Eat them frozen!
15. Blow Pop
This one makes the middle of the list because I feel very neutral about it. It’s a classic, but now as an adult, I do not get excited about a lollipop, even if it does have bubble gum in the center.
Half of the appeal of these is the crunchy break. Other than that, they have a great crunch, melty chocolate, and are in a fun stick form.
People have opinions about these: Either ya love ’em or ya hate ’em. I will say they lean on the dustier side, but I appreciate the change in texture and the fact that you have to really bite into these for the chocolate to crack.
I have never met a kid who didn’t like Nerds. There is something so satisfying about the square cardboard box they come in, the little door they come out of, and the act of sliding the sour bits into your mouth and feeling them melt. They are sweet and colorful and fun.
11. Crunch Bars
Some may argue this is simply a chocolate bar filled with puffed rice, and those people would be right. But how satisfying is that? The super creamy chocolate melts so quickly, revealing these crunchy bits of texture. For some reason, the mini versions are always preferred over the full size.
10. Milky Way
A classic. A favorite. But when compared to its chocolate bar cousins, the Milky Way is just a little bit monotonous, a recipe that’s been improved by other brands. Still, it’s not Halloween without it.
9. 100 Grand
Just edging out the Crunch Bar, if only for its addition of caramel. There’s such a satisfying feeling when opening up the wrapper to the cool, bumpy texture. Plus, how fun is it to say “I’ve got 100 Grand!” Ahhh, one can dream.
I like what the Twix is aiming to be. If a pastry chef were to enter the chocolate bar world, this is what they would make. The components—a shortbread cookie layered with caramel and chocolate—are the best of both the cookie and candy world, plus you get two of them!
Here’s the thing about Starburst. They come individually wrapped, which meant tradability was high, and we know those pink ones were a hot commodity on the playground. Luckily, now we can just buy that single flavor without having to offload the reds and yellows.
6. Take 5
This candy bar really just went for it, with five layers of salty and sweet all jammed into one wrapper. Chocolate, peanuts, caramel, peanut butter, and pretzels—it’s like a bunch of snacks rolled into one. And I commend them for it.
Butterfingers is another one that is controversial, but it grabs a top spot for a few reasons. There is no other candy out there like it. The texture is so crumbly, the flavor is super unique, and there’s no mistaking it for anything else.
4. Baby Ruth/Snickers
Some might be upset at me for lumping these two into the same category. But the only real difference between them is where the peanuts are located. Snickers does a better job at cosmetics by layering the peanuts chopped up in the caramel, while Baby Ruth places them whole. To me, they are both crunchy and soft with a great caramel flavor.
Colorful, unmistakable, and packing in tons of different flavors—Skittles are sugary, chewy, and just totally satisfying.
You can’t tell me that if you went up to a house, and they were giving out Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, that you weren’t totally hyped. It’s peanut butter, it’s chocolate, it’s nostalgia, it’s joy. There’s a reason we all love the TJ’s dark chocolate peanut butter cups—they remind us of these times.
Regular, peanut, or mini, these are the top candy of Halloween (and any day, really). Practically no kid gets upset about M&M’s, and they were not often up for trading because everyone liked to keep them. For that reason and so many more, M&M’s reign supreme.
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